A therapist offers her tips on limiting electronics and work stress in order to have a more peaceful, fun vacation. Try these ideas before you go away on your next trip.
In our work-obsessed world, it can be difficult to unplug and stay present when we travel, but it’s essential in order to give our nervous system a well-earned break. Brianna Paruolo, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Clinical Director and Founder of On Par Therapy, based in New York offers these tips for living in the moment when you go on vacation.
Setting Yourself Up for Success
Be realistic about the time you can actually step away and disconnect from work and technology. “I often find that wanting to go cold-turkey with a habit can have a rebound effect of engaging in the habit you’re looking to kick even more intensely when you return,” says Paruolo. What are the structures and dynamics set up at work that make it easy or difficult to truly disconnect during travel? Will there be real repercussions from going offline, or is it more perfectionism and control-driven anxiety? Start small if complete disconnection feels overwhelming. Maybe it’s checking emails only once in the morning and evening, or designating certain hours as completely offline. The goal isn’t to prove something to yourself or others, but to genuinely recharge and be present for your travel experience.
Setting Boundaries
Set thoughtful out-of-office email responses that include when you’ll be back and who to contact for urgent matters. Communicate to your direct team your true availability – not what you think they want to hear, but what you can realistically maintain while still enjoying your time away. Get clear with yourself about your “why” around the desire to disconnect. Is it burnout? FOMO? The need to prove your dedication? Understanding your motivation helps you stay committed to the boundary. “Remember that a boundary is a conversation, not a demand, and certainly not something someone else has to automatically respect,” says Paruolo. “The only person in charge of respecting a boundary is yourself, so be clear about how you’d like to implement it and what sticking to it actually looks like in practice.” This might mean turning off work notifications entirely, using a separate device for personal use, or scheduling specific check-in times rather than being reactive all day.
Calming Down Our Nervous System
Constant connectivity keeps our nervous systems in a state of low-level activation – we’re always waiting for the next notification, email, or crisis to respond to. This chronic state of alertness prevents us from truly resting and processing our experiences. When we unplug, we allow our minds to wander, make connections, and actually integrate what we’re seeing and learning during travel. “Unplugging also helps us reconnect with our own internal rhythm rather than being driven by external demands,” says Paruolo. Many people discover they’ve lost touch with what they actually enjoy or find interesting when they’re not constantly consuming other people’s content and responding to others’ priorities.
Setting Up a Plan
Sometimes the best unplug is a forced unplug – when there’s no WiFi or cell service to connect to, the decision is made for you. If it feels safe and doable, try sticking to airplane mode and only connecting to WiFi when it’s available and free, rather than actively seeking out connectivity. Consider unplugging during the activities or experiences that drew you to travel in the first place. “If you’re hiking, exploring a new city, or having dinner with travel companions, that’s not the time to be documenting everything for social media or checking work emails,” says Paruolo. The most meaningful moments of travel often happen when we’re fully present rather than thinking about how to capture or share them.
Preventing Anxiety
Preparation is key to making unplugging feel sustainable rather than anxiety-provoking. Download offline maps, entertainment, and any essential information before you leave. Let people know your communication plan ahead of time so you’re not fielding questions about your availability while you’re away. Create systems that make reconnection easier when you return. Maybe that’s scheduling focused work time for your first day back to catch up, or asking a colleague to sort through emails and flag only the truly urgent ones. “The fear of returning to chaos often keeps us tethered to work during vacation, so addressing that proactively helps you actually disconnect,” says Paruolo.
Overcoming Challenges
Fears around structures at work falling apart, no one else being capable of getting the job done, or receiving pushback from co-workers if you step away. These fears are often rooted in control issues and the belief that our worth is tied to our indispensability. Says Paruolo: “There’s also FOMO, both professionally and personally. What if something important happens and you miss it? What if everyone else is documenting their travels perfectly and you’re not keeping up? The irony is that the constant documenting and checking in often prevents us from having the experiences worth sharing in the first place.”
Another challenge is the physical habit of reaching for our phones. We’ve trained ourselves to fill any moment of quiet or transition with scrolling. Being in new environments can actually trigger more phone-checking as we seek familiar comfort, so having alternative coping strategies ready, like bringing a book, journal, or simply practicing sitting with unfamiliar feelings, can be helpful.
