Planning your first business trip away from your toddler? These tips will make the experience less stressful for your family.
For many people, traveling for work is a perk of the job, letting you explore the world while taking a break from the office. But for those with young children, it can feel like more of a downside. Business trips can mess up your family’s daily routine, and they might also prompt separation anxiety in your little ones (or yourself).
Gearing up for your first business trip away from your toddler? These tips will help make the experience less stressful for your family, whether you’re gone for a weekend or a month.
Decide When to Tell Your Kids
When should you share the news of your upcoming trip? The timing depends on your child’s age and temperament. Toddlers and preschoolers don’t understand the concept of time, and some elementary-age kids may still have trouble differentiating five days from one week, so it’s best to give them only a couple of days’ notice, says Stephanie Mihalas, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and founder of The Center for Well-Being in Los Angeles.
Young children tend to get overly anxious about parents leaving, so shorter time frames reduce the length of worrying, she explains. Older kids and tweens are more independent, so you can let them know at least three to four days ahead of time.
Share Details About the Business Trip
Tell your child when you’re leaving, where you’re going, what you’ll be doing, how they can contact you, and when you’ll return. Young kids may not understand what Monday or August 20th means, so mark your departure and return dates on a colorful calendar. Tell them to cross out one day each morning when they wake up, and you’ll be home on the day with the star.
Help them understand where you’re visiting by showing photos, pointing out the location on a map, or researching it on the Internet or in a book. Let them know who will be taking care of them while you’re away, and whether they’ll stay home or go elsewhere, like Grandma’s house.
Stick to Daily Routines
On the homefront, keep things as close to normal as possible. Having a parent away on business is already difficult, so it’s best not to make any additional changes that will disrupt kids’ lives, says Rochelle Harris, Ph.D., a pediatric clinical psychologist at Children’s Mercy Hospitals and Clinics in Kansas City. If your child is staying with a babysitter or family member, leave detailed instructions on bedtimes, feeding, schedules, and any other necessary information to keep things consistent.
Leave Reminders for Your Child
Giving a child something that belongs to the absent parent, such as a T-shirt or a photo, will keep their presence in the home and might reduce separation anxiety, says Dr. Harris. Leaving surprise notes will also help: Put them in easy-to-find places, like a toy chest, lunch bag, backpack, or a favorite shoe. And because bedtime can be especially stressful, Dr. Harris suggests recording yourself reading a book so the child can play the video during storytime.
Avoid Tough Goodbyes
Sneaking away, prolonging the departure, acting anxious, or displaying guilt can make “goodbye” even more challenging, says Dr. Mihalas. To make parting easier, she recommends giving your child a hug and kiss and saying, “I love you. I can’t wait to see you when I come back, but I know you’re going to have a good time.” Then leave.
Check In During the Business Trip
On your first business trip away from your toddler, touch base with them (and their caretaker) every day. Daily chats allow kids to hear your voice and gives everyone time for updates. Your family could also bond by playing games or watching TV shows online.
That said, you should avoid incessant calling, which could make the separation harder for kids and frustrate your partner. Also, if your kids can contact you anytime, you’ll likely receive calls for every little thing.
Spend Time Together When You Return
After a long week of meetings, you probably can’t wait to get home and relax. But “when kids haven’t seen you for a while, they want to share everything that’s happened, see what souvenirs you bought, and hear about your trip,” says Dr. Mihalas.
Dr. Mihalas recommends spending at least 15 to 20 minutes with kids when you arrive home, giving hugs and kisses and catching up. Then you can have some downtime by saying you need to shower, unpack, or go for a walk after being on an airplane for so long.
By spending time with your child first and making the transition a natural one, your kid won’t take your desire for space personally. Moreover, making your return as positive as your departure means they’ll be less anxious next time you travel.
